On 09/19/2014, my cell phone rang at 4:45pm. I didn’t get to my phone in time and noticed someone left a message. The phone number didn’t look familiar. It happened to be my primary physician leaving me a message. The message stated the results came in and she was bummed I was not home and I was to call the office as soon I received her message. As I was listening to the message, I looked at the time and it was now 4:50pm, on a Friday, and I knew I had only minutes to spare since the office was going to close in 10 minutes. I didn’t even bother listening to the rest of the phone message. I immediately called the office. As the phone was ringing, I kept saying to myself, pick up, pick up the phone. I started panicking and thinking, how in the world could the results be in already? It has only been less than 24 hours and I was told it would take AT LEAST 3 to 10 days! Someone answered and I was put on hold. It is now 5:03pm, after hours on a Friday.
A physician assistant gets on the phone (I have no idea who this person is) and states, “Hi, Yep…..you are positive, you have ductal carcinoma in BOTH breasts.” I was in complete shock. I fell back in a blue wingback chair. My mind all of a sudden was in a fog. My throat was tightening up. My mind was racing and I started to think, maybe I did not hear her correctly?? “I….have…… WHAT?”, I stated. She states it louder thinking I didn’t hear her, “Oh! I guess you were NOT expecting this news? Well… you have DUCTAL CARCINOMA IN BOTH BREASTS!!!” My mind went racing again. How could this be??? I started thinking and reminded myself that I was told by a radiologist, along with 4 nurses to not worry, and a pathologist/doctor who performed my biopsy who stated the radiologist wants to cover his butt, and an internist who also watched the pathologist perform the biopsy that my biopsy results would be 80% NEGATIVE. I then said slowly to the PA, “Is this in situ? (better kind to have) or is it……”. PA says, “All the lab report shows is… YOU HAVE DUCTAL CARCINOMA IN BOTH BREASTS!!!!” “And…..you cannot Google anything and I will send you an email of the surgeon and oncologist to contact first thing Monday morning.” “You need to speak to the surgeon for more details…..I have another phone call and I have go, so look for my email and call the surgeon for more information.” She hangs up.
There I sat, in a blue chair in the living room. I couldn’t call my navigator nurses, the lab, or anyone because everything is now closed for the weekend. It is now 5:10pm. I couldn’t talk to anyone till Monday morning. The weekend was going to be a nightmare, waiting for Monday. Because the results came back so early, I thought my cancer was spreading like wildfire. I have no idea what type of cancer I am dealing with. How could this person just leave me hanging like this through the whole weekend??
One minute, I am busy getting dinner started and my life is doing okay and the next minute? It all changes, JUST LIKE THAT! A snap of the fingers. Just hearing the words, “YOU HAVE CANCER IN BOTH BREASTS” is enough to make your head spin and turns your life upside down.
I wanted to call my mom, but she died at age 57 back in 2000 from complications of rheumatoid arthritis. I called my Great Aunt Moynell in Michigan who had a mastectomy done 5 years ago because of 2 cancerous lumps. I have been close to her, especially since my mom died in 2000. My mom’s sister, my aunt, died around age 59 (10 months after my mom died) from breast cancer because she secretly stopped the Tamoxifen and cancer spread to Stage 4. This was years ago for my aunt and now there are new methods and drugs to treat cancer.
I was on the phone with my great Aunt when I saw my daughter pull into the driveway. She was home from college visiting the weekend. I told my aunt I had to get off the phone because Kelsey was walking up the sidewalk. Kelsey walked in the house and I told Kels, “Immediately text your dad and tell him it is an emergency and to come home NOW!!!” She didn’t hesitate and texted her dad. Ray was now on his way home. I told Kelsey we were going to have a family meeting in the living room once dad gets home. Ray came home and as he walked through the front door, he was alert with a bewildered look on his face. We all sat in the living room and I began to tell Kelsey and Ray about my conversation with the physician assistant. I stated I had breast cancer, in both breasts. Ray said, “They must have the wrong results and mixed them up with someone else’s results.” After all, I was told it would be only a 20% chance of having breast cancer. I actually thought the same thing Ray did. Kelsey said we have to pray and kept asking if I was going to be okay.
I told Kels I would be fine, but in reality, I didn’t know what to think! It is now Friday evening. I cannot call ANYONE! I can’t call my doctor, the nurse navigators at the hospital, the pathology department, or the hospital who performed my breast biopsy, NOT ONE PERSON who could give me my results. I finally received the email from the physician assistant who told me my results over the phone. I couldn’t call the breast surgeon or the oncologist in that email. Everything is closed now for the weekend. I have to wait about 64 hours till I can call my new breast surgeon to schedule an appointment. I don’t even want to call the oncologist. An ONCOLOGIST?? Just the thought of an oncologist and sitting in the waiting room made me sick to my stomach. I don’t even want to step foot in her office. I don’t even know what kind of breast cancer is in my breasts or has it metastasized everywhere else in my body! No one can tell me what is going on. One minute I think I am going to die in a few weeks since I have cancer in BOTH breasts. Then the next minute, I kept remembering how I was told by so many that it would be an 80% chance of me being negative for breast cancer. I will have the longest weekend of my life to deal with before Monday morning at 9:00 am.
I started crying and couldn’t believe my results and why BOTH BREASTS!! Why both!!!!