Here is a Facebook post:  Great news. My last 2 drains came out this morning. It burned and felt like gurgling sensation went on across my chest. I have areas of swelling and I’m sore, but that means I go off antibiotics starting tomorrow and getting off other medications. I’m progressing very well and next week, I start with filling of my expanders. I’m very thankful and appreciate each brand new day.

I was a nervous wreck for this appointment.  I did take a pain-killer before this visit.  Ray went with me as he has been to every appointment.  I still had fluid buildup and my drains were still producing over 30 cc of fluid, more like 50 cc.  The last of my two drains had to be pulled or the tubes inside my body were going to attach to tissue.  The nurse cut my incisions that were placed around each tube.  The first tube on my right side was difficult to pull and quite snug.  The second tube even more difficult.  The first 2 drains that were pulled almost a week ago was much easier, but those tubes were not far enough in the chest wall like these last 2 drains.  I began to wonder if the tubes were going to come out okay.  When tubes were pulled, the area surrounding the tube in my chest stung at first, and then it felt like the fluid found open space where drain tubes once were and the there was the gurgling feeling.  You could feel the fluid moving, in the open spaces where the tube once was earlier which created a creepy sensation.  My plastic surgeon was out-of-town for Thanksgiving and the nurse who removed my tubes did a fabulous job.  I held Ray’s hand and squeezed it.  It was sitting up on the bench with my legs dangling and kept swinging them while the nurse performed the procedure.  I bet my blood pressure was super high.  The nurse took pictures of my chest and these were sent to the plastic surgeon.  All was good.  I went home and tried to eat something and then slept.  I was tubeless and drainless the day before Thanksgiving.  Yay!

Nat King Cole – Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

Here is my Facebook post:

Last night, I decided to move from the recliner to the bed.  This is extremely difficult for me because let’s face it, I am an 80% stomach sleeper, 15% side sleeper, and 5% back sleeper.  Having to sleep on my back 100% is extremely uncomfortable.  In the middle of the night, I literally sat on my knees and leaned forward and put my head on the pillow.  I was so tired and started to fall asleep while being in this position, but Ray kept bothering me and telling me I can’t go to sleep like this and finally, I rolled over and laid on my back.  I just hated this whole cancer ordeal.  I can’t get comfortable to fall asleep.

Yes, I could go on and on, but I am thankful for my life.  I always have been.  It is not like I needed to get cancer to realize how special life really has to offer because I have always stopped to smell the roses and appreciated everything.  One thing I have a tough time dealing with and honestly?  I suck at it which is faith.  Yep, I suck at faith, but Ray has ALWAYS passed with flying colors.  Here are some of my favorite quotes as of 15 years ago:

• The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart. – Helen Keller

  Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. – Helen Keller

  Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. – Joshua J. Marine

  Life’s a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get. (from the movie Forrest Gump).

• Everything happens for a reason! Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

Help Me Find It Sidewalk Prophets from the album Live Like That

Ray and I went to the breast surgeon office visit.  I absolutely love my surgeon and very thankful to have her in my life.  I was going to miss her and her medical assistant.  My surgeon said the path report was not finalized yet and I am not to worry.  There were 2 breasts that needed to be looked over with a fine tooth comb and pathologist has to prove there was no invasion.  Surgeon said pathologist is probably moving “rocks and stones” looking for anything out of the norm and once she gets path report back, she will call me right away.

She also stated “IF” there was something found on path report and needs attention, like more surgery (lymph node removal), she will schedule immediate surgery in the next few days.  Then, she stated she was not worried about the path report.  Otherwise, I looked great and breast surgeon was pleased with the plastic surgeon’s reconstruction.  My breast surgeon also wanted me to schedule and see the oncologist within the week to see if anything more needed to be done.  I didn’t understand that I had to see the oncologist again, since the oncologist said if I had a double mastectomy, I would not need chemo, radiation, or tamoxifen.  Great, a couple more hurdles to deal with.

Ray and I left the clinic and I had an uneasy feeling about the path report.  In fact, what in the world?  I thought I was finished.  Done!!  No more office visits, no tamoxifen, and all I really need to do is to finish up with the plastic surgeon to get expanders filled, removed, and have implants put in known as “The Exchange.”  So why in the world did the surgeon say she could schedule me if needed to have emergency surgery?  My mind was starting to race.  I want PEACE!!  I want this whole nightmare over with!!!!  I know this is the road I am to walk and I love my small group.  They helped my family out with prayers, meals each week, and gave their love and support.  This special group is so amazing.  I also am thankful for my friends and neighbors who gave me gifts and support and always kept checking up on me.  I appreciate them all very much!!!!

Our small group during Christmas.

By evening, I was not myself.  I was upset and emotional.  Tired of the emotional roller coaster rides.  Once I get through one hurdle, there is another one to deal with.

Around 6:30pm, I noticed my cell phone flashing.  I missed a call.  It was a call from my breast surgeon and she left a message.  I yelled for Ray to come into the bedroom.  He was talking to my dad and his wife, Mitzi, in the bonus room.  Ray rushed to where I was in the bedroom and I told him my breast surgeon left a message.  We both held each other while I was shaking, and I played the message.  She stated, “Hi Nadine.”  “I wanted you to know right away that I just talked to the pathologist and your results came back.”  “As I suspected and as we discussed, your path report came back good and clear of all margins and no need for more surgery.”  I was to call her back if I had any questions.  I started crying and Ray just held onto me and kept saying, “Praise God!”  Tears came to his eyes and I cried more than ever.  I told him I NEED to call her back.

Ray left the room and I grabbed my prayer shawl that I received as a gift from a dear sweet couple, Scott and Sheryl, in our small group at church.  I took that shawl and wrapped it around me and fell to my knees.  I was so very thankful and wept.

After I got my composure back, I called the breast surgeon.  She immediately answered her phone.  I told her, “Thank you…. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart and thank you for calling right away after receiving the path reports.”  I then started crying to her on the phone.  I told her thank you for her being my breast surgeon and for taking care of me and performing surgery.  I could barely speak and I continued thanking her for all she had done and I appreciated her very much.   She said she was happy to give me the results and told me to have a good night and get some rest.  She also said she wish she had more patients like me and was happy with the overall results.  I asked for my path report because I wanted to look at the results.

Here is what I posted on Facebook:  Update…..saw the plastic surgeon. Two drains, out of 4 removed. Doc said I was looking and doing great. I am advanced ahead of schedule. Most patients have around 50cc of fluid filled in their expanders right after mastectomy, but I had 250cc which is why I made a comment earlier that I had a cleavage and had some boobies. I am having some fluid building up in the bottom area outside the expander. I am to wear a Cami and put gentle presser in the area. I see Plastics again this Friday. Tomorrow I see breast surgeon to go over path report of my cancer in breast tissue. I am sore and bruised up really good, but moving around and have most of my arm movements. I am thanking God and all of you for your prayers. I couldn’t have done any of this without you all and your prayers. THANK YOU!!!

Ray drove me to the plastic surgeon office visit.  The doctor said I looked great and she was very pleased and happy with her work.  I was healing ahead of schedule she was thrilled about my arm movements and the range of motion in my shoulders.  I have walked with my arms almost crossed, with my right hand grasping my left wrist, and placing my hands under my expanders.  In fact, I have walked like this ALL THE TIME!  I think I am in protection mode and protecting my chest. The pulling of the 2 drains was not bad at all.  Didn’t hurt much, but then I was still on pain killers.  The doctor asked if I needed any more pain meds filled and I was shocked because I still had half a bottle left.  Doctor also wanted me to wear a loose fitting cami.  The cami will be put gentle pressure on my expanders to help with swelling by putting light gentle pressure to reduce fluid buildup.  Doctor did not want anything constricting my skin and I am to call immediately if my skin tissue was turning blue or purple.  My next visit will be Friday to check for fluid buildup and if the last 2 drains can be pulled, but I had to produce 30 cc or less of fluid in my JP drain.

My body was getting stronger, but still needed pain medications.  I was alert when taking my pain meds, but I couldn’t remember what happened two days earlier.

My bandages were coming off this morning and my plastic surgeon wanted me to take a shower.  I didn’t want Ray to look at me and my chest, but I had no choice since he was stripping my drain tubes and measuring the fluid from my Jackson-Pratt drains. We had to record on paper how many cc’s each JP drain tube produced and record what time we drained the JP drain.

Here is what the measuring cups look like:  

I told Ray I was ugly and he said, “Geesh honey, I didn’t marry you for your boobs!”  He also said, “The nurses and doctors said you will not look like this forever and just think, no more wearing bras and actually, your incisions are not bad at all.”

Now it is time for my first shower after surgery.  Ray was told by a chaplain, who prayed for us while I was having surgery at the hospital, to use ribbon or string or even shoelace to string the Jackson-Pratt drains together (there are fasteners with a hole attached to JP drain) and then take the shoelace with the JP drains and tie the ribbon around my neck, loosely, so the drains are not dangling and hanging down from my body and pulling my skin.  In this picture below, shows a plastic loop (near the thumb) and the plastic part will open to thread ribbon or shoelace through.

This method worked beautifully.  Ray also placed a small stool in the middle of our bathroom for me in case I get dizzy or tired from standing.  I took my shower and actually was able to raise my arms enough to wash my hair.  I thought I would be devastated, even with a glimpse of looking at my chest, but I was actually okay.  I was happy to have my skin and see my same freckles.  I knew the image I was seeing now would not always look like this forever, but better.  The most difficult part was the underarm area where the lymph nodes were removed with the stitches in place.  The armpits were sore and I thought I would cry, but I didn’t.  There was absolutely NO FEELING whatsoever in the chest area, underarms, and all along the armpits to the elbows.  I would try and take a razor to the underarm and I couldn’t tell if I was touching skin or not.  The lymph node incisions were in the way and felt raw.  It felt good using a shower gel with a nice scent.  Made me feel like a woman again.

This is what I used to hold my JP drains; pictures below.  You just peel off the sticky tape and apply to whatever you are wearing and this holds the JP drains perfectly.  I was able to get 2 JP drains in each pocket.  They are washable while stuck to the shirt and when done, just peel the sticky pocket off the shirt.  My good friend/neighbor, Pam, gave me these as a gift.

Here is a video of what Ray had to do 4 times a day for the first 7 days.  I was able to handle the last 5 days on my own.  This is NOT a video of myself.

Our first meal was provided by the Andro’s and it was fabulous.  They live about 3 hours away and still managed to have dinner delivered to us.  Supposedly, I didn’t want dessert, but my daughter came up to me eating something on a plate and I asked her what was she eating and she said Cheesecake.  She asked me if I wanted a bite.  I took a bite and before you know it, I some how managed to eat the whole thing.  My daughter was shocked.  To tell you the truth, I DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING!!!  I was too drugged up.  Poor Kelsey, I felt really bad when I found out I did this to her, about a week later.  Darn, I don’t even remember myself enjoying that piece of cheesecake either.  🙂

We belong to a wonderful Bible group and they had it all worked out for our dinners.  We received an email with the name of the couple and what date they were going to come by the house to drop off meals for our family.  All the meals were wonderful and perfect for the following weeks.  Our family was very thankful for them providing a home cooked meal.  THANK YOU EVERYONE for your help!!

Saturday, in the mid afternoon, I was able to move from the bonus room couch to our bedroom where a recliner was waiting for me.  My dad and his wife arrived for a visit from Scottsdale, AZ.  They had this trip planned since August, way before I knew I had double breast cancer.  To me, the bedroom was ideal to sleep than the bonus room with visitors and I was stronger to sit in a recliner.  I still needed Ray’s help to move the recliner back and forth.  It was too difficult yet to use my arms because of my peck muscles. 

The lower part of where the breast tissue used to be was the most uncomfortable area.  It felt as if everything was stretching to the point where the skin was going to open.  This was no boob job as implants are placed behind breast tissue.  With a mastectomy and immediate reconstruction, there is no breast tissue and so the peck muscle gets sliced, to create a pocket and expanders are slid into place with muscle in front of the expander.  I had Alloderm which was placed in the lower part of were breast tissue used to be and was connected to the upper peck muscle.  Above picture of Alloderm.

In the late afternoon, my back area was now a problem.  I told Ray about it and he took off some of the bandage area and tried to feel what was going on.  He felt something and somehow, I had an electrode that was still placed on my back.  Ray peeled the electrode off and the area started to feel better.  Ray said he could see a blister starting to form.  Here is an electrode patch below.  Ray took a picture of my blister with my cell phone.  I showed my boss whose a doctor and I was not to pop it.

Around midnight, I woke up screaming in pain.  Ray jumped out of bed.  I forgot I had to be quiet and whisper because  my dad and his wife where in the guest room sleeping.  I told Ray there was something seriously wrong with my back and in fact, it felt like someone was taking a hot iron and placing it directly to my skin on my back.  My underarm area also felt like it was on fire.  I felt like a burn victim and my body was on FIRE!  I BEGGED Ray to call 9-1-1.   Ray said, “Geesh honey, you are acting like this blister that is forming is worse than the mastectomy itself!”  I said to him, “IT IS!!!!”  I begged again for him to call 9-1-1.  He took my cell phone and took another picture of my blister to show me what it looked like.  The blister was near my right arm.

Gee, it kind of looks like a backward State of Michigan!  Haha.

I saw the picture and wanted him to pop it to relieve the pain.  Ray said NO WAY and was following my boss/doctor’s orders.  He asked if I would agree for him to call Pam who lives across the street.  She is our dear friend and happens to be an RN.  I agreed.  I wanted to call my boss who is a doctor, but I didn’t want to bother her in the middle of the night.  Poor Pam and Larry as Ray and I woke them up after midnight.  Pam told Ray to apply ice to the area, but not to pop it.  Ray took a wash cloth and went downstairs to get ice from the freezer.  Later, he returned.  I told Ray to look under my underarm area to see if a blister was forming.  My right underarm had an incision due to lymph node removal.  This area also started to feel like it was on fire.  Ray could not see anything, even with a bright flashlight.  It was difficult for me to raise my arm for Ray to get a good look in the area due to pain from the surgery.  I told Ray in a stern, whisper, very slowly, “Will……you…….. PLEASE….take that ice………and just PLANT it…..DIRECTLY onto the skin, will ya……..NOW!”  Ray says, “That is what I am doing honey!”  I thought Ray was using the cold wash cloth directly to the skin and not the ice-cube itself.  I couldn’t feel the ice-cube at all, but finally, about 10 minutes later, the intense burning fire feeling was going away.  I then fell back to sleep.

The next morning, Pam came over and took a look at the blister and said she believed it could be Shingles and I should see a doctor as soon as possible to get on antibiotics right away.  Getting Shingles is usually caused from significant amount of stress and after having major surgeries.  When she left, I immediately put on my coat and shoes, with Ray’s help, and out the door we went to Urgent Care, on a Sunday afternoon.

As we arrived, the waiting room was crowded with a bunch of sick people and I told the front desk that I just had a double mastectomy, 4 days ago.  They didn’t care and told me it would be at least a 2 hour wait.  The patients in the waiting area were sick with colds and coughs.  I grabbed a mask and placed it around my nose and mouth.  Poor Ray, he was exhausted and needed sleep.  He called Kelsey, our daughter, to see if she could relieve Ray.  Ray went back to the vehicle to take a nap.  His eyes were all bloodshot from trying to take care of me the last 3 days.  He waited for Kels to arrive in the parking lot and then he left the clinic to head back home to take a nap while Kelsey greeted me in the waiting area.  She also decided to wear a mask.

Finally, my name was called and I slowly got up and walked to the back room, wearing my PJs and slippers with a mask on.  Everyone was looking at me and I didn’t care.  The medical assistant was very upset with the front desk personnel for letting me wait over 2 hours until I could be seen.  The doctor immediately came in and looked at my blister and was pretty sure it was Shingles, but thought he could see a rash starting to form from the blister area on my back which caused a trail upward to the underarm.  If this was Shingles, it was in the early stages and we caught it, just in time!  He prescribed Acyclovir, an antibiotic.  I told him I was already taking Keflex, another type of antibiotic, but Acyclovir should do the trick  for Shingles.  Kels drove me home and soon, I fell asleep in the recliner.  The Acyclovir worked because the blister started healing up and no more episodes of feeling like my body was on FIRE!!!  It was a long, exhausting, stressful day!

Sleeping through the night was not a problem.  In the morning, I was feeling pretty good.  My body was kept comfortable with the pain meds.  I was to take 1-2 pills every 4-6 hours, but the pain was tolerated by taking 1 pill instead of 2.  My doctor, nurses, and so many others told me to take the pain meds as directed because you don’t want to take the meds when you START feeling the pain or you will be chasing the pain consistently and feeling mostly pain all the time.  You want to get AHEAD of the pain and want your body to heal.  Otherwise, it takes longer to heal when your body is trying to constantly fight pain and then blood pressure goes up.  My body was tired, stressed out.

I had difficulty using my arms to get out of the couch let alone, position myself on the couch.  The only time I moved from the couch was to use the bathroom.  I would shuffle my way to the bathroom.  I had to learn to wiggle my body to move myself around.  My lower right back area was really starting to bother me.  I had a dressing that was wrapped around my entire chest and back.  I couldn’t see anything in my chest area nor did I want too because I thought I was going to have a chest like a flat ironing board and that was difficult for me since I was a size D.  I didn’t even want to feel my chest area with my hands.  I couldn’t fathom what my chest was going to look like as I personally liked my boobs in the past.

I was able to eat crackers, Jello, and yogurt.  Ray did EVERYTHING for me.  He sat next to me at the table figuring out a schedule on paper as when to take all my medications and when to drain my Jackson-Pratt drains.  He had the schedule set up where we were able to cross off what meds I took.  He labeled the medications by placing a colored dot on top of each medication bottle and wrote a letter on the colored dot.  For example, Oxycodone was yellow and had a big O on the dot.  Keflex was green with a big K written on the dot.  That way, were not having to grab a medication bottle and trying to read it and figure out what bottle contained what pills.  Then Ray used his cell phone and rigged it for alarms to go off and the name of the medication would pop up on his cell to let us know which medication was needed.  Ray placed a bell on the coffee table for me to use if I needed him while he was working downstairs in the den.  Seriously though, I don’t think I ever rang the bell because he was there all the time, checking up on me and bringing me food, water, meds, adjusting pillows, etc.  He gave me some concoction drink which consisted of prune juice and a couple of Tablespoons of apple juice.  This special drink was to keep me from being constipated from all the pain meds and antibiotics.  I was prescribed a medication for constipation too.

Here were my medications below and what I posted on Facebook:  I will admit, taking all this is getting really old. Some of these bottles need to be  taken 4-5 pills a day, like the 2 different antibiotics and some other meds are 2-3 times a day. Ray has his phone rigged with a chime that goes off, letting him know which pills I need to take next and we have a chart which we cross off each time I take a medication. Some pills need to be taken at 1am. At least I have no pain or stomach upset.  

The Jackson-Pratt drains were not that bad at all.  At first, the fluid was a nasty looking, pinkish red and clear in color.  You just want to make sure it is not port wine red.  I had 2 drains on one side and 2 drains on the other side and they were labeled with numbers, 1 thru 4.  Ray had no problem emptying out the drains.  It did not phase him at all.  He also had to strip the tubes by going to where the end of the tube was connected to my skin, pinching it with one hand and with the other hand, he pinched and moved along the tube to the other end of the tube which connected to the JP drain holder.  This was to make sure no blood clots were forming and the gunk was draining properly.  Ray talked to my uncle who would tease him and say, “So, Ray, are you stripping?”  My uncle had to strip tube for my aunt who also had breast cancer, but one breast.  This is what the Jackson-Pratt drains look like below.  They were labeled with numbers.  I seriously felt like I was a bomber with a bunch of hand grenades strapped to my body with dressing and tape around my chest.

Here is what I posted on Facebook:  I made it through the night. Difficult to walk, difficult to pull down PJs to pee. I have bandages wrapped around my chest. I don’t even want to look at my incisions. I’m trying to eat crackers and Jello or pudding to keep down pain meds. I have no appetite. Drinking fluids though. Trying to take deep breathing through the machine from the hospital. I have TED hose on to wear for another few days to prevent blood clots. My right side hurts more than my left. I see plastic surgery the 18th and I have to set up appointment with breast surgeon next week to go over path results to see if there were other areas of cancer. Normal standard procedure.  I laid on the couch upright for now all night. Recliner looks tempting, but not sure if I will be able to get out of that contraption.  Haha.

I did pretty well the first day at home.  The only main problem was my right lower mid back was bothering me and I started adjusting or moving the bandages and tape away from my skin in that area.  Other than that, all was good.

Later in the afternoon, my bandage was starting to loosen up and I finally took a peek at my chest.  OH MY GOSH!  I was in shock!  As I took a sneak peek by looking down at my chest, Wow!!! I was so excited!! I had some boobies!!! I even had a cleavage.  Holy cow! I was so impressed. Haha.  No red stuff (blood) on the skin or bandage.  I was so incredibly happy with the look of my chest. I couldn’t believe it!!!!

Neighborhood Friends (Larry and Pam) came by our house the night before my surgery day.  They gave me a gift basket, full of items I was going to need at the hospital and after the surgery.  I was extremely thankful and used ALL the items.  My friend, Pam, is an RN and knew exactly what I needed.

List of Items I took to the Hospital:

A small pink duffel bag packed with mastectomy pillows, chapstick, the same sweatpants, and zipped up sweat jacket I wore to the hospital for surgery (since I only wore these items for a total of 45 minutes on my surgery date), underwear (no need for another bra – haha), Uggs, socks, and ipod.  That is it!  I DID NOT need toothbrush, robe, slippers, more clothes, makeup, etc.  You will not have time nor the energy to care about these extra items the next day.  Besides, too much to take back to the car after the hospital stay along with flowers you may get at the hospital.

My gift basket below:

Chris Daughtry –  Im Going Home

Here we go!  Getting to go home from the hospital while dealing with icy road conditions at night.  Ray kept in contact by cell phone with Lisa all day, our neighbor/friend, who reported to Ray how the roads were, especially our steep hill in our subdivision.  I laid in the hospital bed thinking how the heck am I going to get out of bed, get dressed, let alone make it home with icy roads, put that seat belt on, get out of the truck, and walk into the house with ice on the sidewalk.  After all, schools cancelled classes because of bad road conditions.  It has only been 28 hours after my surgery and I have to head home.

In the hospital, Ray helped me sit up in bed.  It took effort and about 5 minutes to get myself situated sitting up with Ray’s help.  Then the hospital gown came off and Ray started reaching in my overnight bag for my clothes.  He started to pull out my size D bra and I thought to myself, REALLY?  Haha.  I didn’t need a bra anymore.  I was all bandaged up with a white dressing around my chest.  Ray helped me dress into sweat pants, a zipped up sweatshirt, my coat, and Uggs.  Took about 20 minutes to get dressed, slowly.  He had to do everything like pull up my sweatpants, zip up my sweatshirt, put on my socks, etc.  It was difficult for me to do this by myself.

Then the nurse came in with the wheelchair and off I went down the hallway.  I was near the nurse’s station, waiting for the elevator, and about 4 nurses were discussing about the roads being bad in some areas and were wondering how they were going to manage getting home.  It was about 10:00pm.  The nurses waved bye to me and wished me well.

While Ray was getting the truck, the nurse wheeled me to the front door of the hospital.  Looking through the windows to the outside, it was super windy and looked blustery cold outside.  The nurse pointed toward the tree which was out front of the hospital building.  The tree had a thin coat of ice and with the wind moving the tree branches, the tree glistened.  The tree was beautiful, but then I thought, ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY for letting me leave the hospital under these type of conditions?

Ray pulled up  to the front door of the hospital and the nurse wheeled me to the vehicle door.  The poor nurse was freezing because she didn’t have her coat on.  Ray jumped out of the truck and it took both the nurse and Ray to get me into the truck as it was sitting up a bit higher than a car.  Putting the seat belt on was a nightmare!  Thank goodness for my friend, Pam, who made me wonderful pillows.  I used a pillow between my body and the seat belt for comfort.

We were off, on our way home.  I thought Ray slid a little on the road, but he kept reassuring me the roads were okay.  All the drivers were going slower than normal, like 20 miles an hour slower than the norm.  We had to stop off at Walgreen’s on the way home to pick up the new anti-nausea dissolving tablets.  Gee, more pills to take.

I don’t remember much on the way home, only to the part were we enter our subdivision to go up the hill.  I was WIDE AWAKE AND ALERT for that experience!  Lisa, our neighbor and dear friend, text Ray stating the hill was still okay to drive up.  We drove down Beef Bend and then turned to enter our subdivision.  Yep, I was wide awake and alert as we started to climb up the hill.  I was pretty much FREAKING OUT!  As soon as we pulled into our court and reached our driveway, I could have kissed the ground when I got out of the truck.  Ray put down some cardboard on the driveway near my side of the truck door, just in case the spot was slippery when I slid out of the truck.  Ray unlatched the seat belt and I was able to swing around and get out of that vehicle.  I immediately started walking toward the front door, with both my arms up toward my chest area, without waiting for Ray to help me.  I was a nervous wreck from the drive home and just wanted to get into the house, NOW!  I had to wait for Ray to unlock the front door.  As I walked into the house, I was trying to figure out where I was going to plant myself down for a few days.  I thought of the family room, but said forget it.  I started climbing the staircase.  Once I reached the top of the staircase, I looked into our bedroom.  I saw our bed and said NO WAY am I getting in that bed.  I looked at the newly purchased recliner and thought how the heck am I going to get into it let alone, OUT OF IT.  I went down the hallway and looked into the guest room, but my dad and Mitzi were coming for a visit in 2 days from Arizona, so that wasn’t going to work for me.  I looked at Kelsey’s twin bed in her room.  I thought about laying in her bed, but decided not to, knowing she was coming home in 3 days to visit from college.  She was finishing up with her finals.  I continued on into the bonus room and there was the brown couch.  YES!  BINGO!  This is the place to plant myself down for a while.

I sat down on the couch and Ray grabbed some pillows and was able to get me adjusted to a comfort level I could tolerate.  He gave me my bottled water and everything I needed and placed all the items on the coffee table along with a bell to ring if I needed anything.  I was all set and fell asleep.  What an ordeal!  I think I aged a few years from the ride home.  lol.

Around 9:00am, about 15 hours after surgery, I was still feeling nauseated.  I couldn’t imagine stomaching medication.  My breast surgeon came into the room to check up on me and to see if I was ready to be discharged.  I was still out of it and no way near ready to be discharged home.  Surgeon decided I should try an anti-nausea medication that would dissolve under the tongue and then wait for about a half an hour to take pain medications orally and to do this throughout the day.  Then the surgeon would be back to visit me in the late afternoon to see how I was doing and if I could be discharged home.

Ray decided to turn on the TV to hear the local news.  The weather was bad in our area for icy road conditions.  In fact, schools were all closed in the area.  I started thinking, how the heck are we going to drive home with icy road conditions, let alone drive up our hill in our subdivision to get to our house.  Umm….I DON’T THINK SO!  Wouldn’t it be safer just to stay in the hospital?  There was NO WAY I was going to get stuck on the road in a vehicle or having to park down the bottom of the hill and walk by foot up the steep hill to our house after a double mastectomy!!  Nope, not happening.  The stress along thinking about it made my blood pressure rise.  I then dozed off to sleep.

I started feeling better and tolerating the pain medications by mouth.  The dissolving anti-nausea medication was working.  Soon, it was lunch time and I was given some food to try and eat.  Macaroni noodles, only it was NOT the hospital’s homemade favorite to die for recipe.  I think I ate about 4 noodles.  I kept up with eating the pudding, Jello, and crackers.  I literally had to force it down my throat.  Soon I was tolerating the oral pain meds throughout the day and near evening hours.  No more IV pain meds and my blood pressure was stabilizing to a normal range.  Surgeon came into the hospital room around 7:30 pm and decided I was ready to be discharged.  Now, how am I going to get home in icy road conditions. 

While I was having surgery, Ray had my cell phone and used it to post updates on Facebook to all my family and friends.  Ray uses LinkedIn, not Facebook.  My daughter also posted on Facebook.

This was from my precious daughter:  Prayers for my momma during her surgery today! Cancers a pain in the butt, but this lady has been blessed with such comforting words and friends to help her along the way in developing a positive outlook and even more closer relationship to God. Thank you to all the strangers, friends, and our family who’s been there for her every step of the way!

This was from Ray’s post:  This is Ray. Posting an update for Nadine that biopsy results of Sentinel lymph nodes results were negative.

Another post from Ray:  Its amazing that she can still get on Facebook while under anesthesia. I’ll update when possible.
-ray

Another post from Ray:  Ray again here. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I spoke to surgeon and all is proceeding well.

Finally, last post from Ray:  I’m with Nadine and she looks great was talking up a storm earlier and will let her rest. She’s had a rough day.

I woke up around 6:30pm, as I was in the hospital bed while being wheeled into my private hospital room.  The surgery lasted about 8 hours long.  Supposedly,  the surgeons stated that I had 6 major surgeries performed, since I had cancer in both breasts at the same time.  Most patients who have breast cancer only have it in one breast.  I happened to be the unfortunate one because only 1-5% get cancer in BOTH breasts.   One surgery is to remove breast tissue of one breast and second surgery is to remove breast tissue from the other breast, performed by the breast surgeon.  Each breast is different in shape, size and in depth.  Most are not even.  The third and fourth surgeries are cutting near both armpit areas to remove some lymph nodes to send off to the pathologist for ruling out cancer.  I had 3 lymph nodes removed from right armpit and 4 lymph nodes removed from the left armpit.  The plastic surgeon then takes over and finishes the fifth and sixth surgeries which is immediate reconstruction with tissue expanders placed.  I had Alloderm placed which the plastic surgeon was able to save my breast skin.

When I woke up, I was in pain, indescribable pain.  My blood pressure was very high because of the pain.  I also had my legs wrapped in some type of pressure pad device that would pump up a bag around my legs intermittently.  This was to keep me from having blood clots.  I was horribly nauseated which did not help.  I knew I had to force myself to eat a cracker and take a bit of Jello to hopefully keep oral pain meds down, but it was no use.  I was then having to take morphine and an anti-nausea med by IV.  Around midnight, the nurse thought I could take the 2 oral pain meds by mouth, but I told her I really wanted one pain pill because I was afraid 2 pills would cause me to throat up everything.  Nurse felt I would be okay.  I took the 2 little tiny pain pills and about 10 minutes later, I was throwing everything up.  Luckily, Ray decided to stay the night in my room, sleeping in a recliner.  I told Ray I felt like throwing up and he literally jumped out of the recliner and was able to give me the throw-up bag just in time or I would have thrown up all over the bed.

Right after vomiting up my meds, I noticed I had severe swelling in my feet, hands, and arms.  My body felt like it was loaded with too much fluid.  Then, there was a sensation  that I needed to urinate, a lot, and quickly.  Ray called the nurse into the room and it took both Ray and the nurse to get me up out of bed.  Once I was standing, I was fine.  The getting out of bed took all my stomach muscles and with Ray taking his hands to my back to help me lean forward out of bed.  I never realized how much chest muscles you use to maneuver yourself and it hurt like HECK.  I had to slowly shuffle my way to the bathroom with the nurse on my left side and Ray holding me on my right side.  It took some time to adjust myself on that darn toilet seat.  I had no problem urinating though.  It felt like I urinated around 800 cc worth of fluid.  It took my stomach muscles to get myself off that darn toilet.  No one can simply take your arms and lift you up after a double mastectomy.  Once back in bed, I felt better and all the swelling went away.  I slept, but through the night, I was awaken every 2 hours and had vitals checked and given IV meds.  I was in a lot of uncomfortable pain.  My blood pressure proved I was in pain because it was still high.  I had to get control of taking my meds orally without feeling nauseated or throwing up before I could go home.

Ray stated the breast surgeon came out after my surgery and greeted Ray and told him I did great.  In fact, it was different and she had never experienced anything like it before, because all the nurses and crew were cheering me on.  When my one side showed up I was negative for cancer in lymph nodes, they all cheered for me and did the same when the other side came back negative.

Ray stayed with me for the night in my hospital room and I was very thankful.  He was the best.  He helped me and was right there if I needed anything.  He was so in tune with me that if I moved or woke up, he was up asking me what I needed.  He chose the recliner than the fold out sofa bed because it was closer to my bed.  Ray kept our daughter informed by phone, as she was in Corvallis at Oregon State University, studying and taking her finals.  He also kept my boss informed and my aunt and uncles and family members.  Flowers were delivered to my hospital room right away.  Flowers were from the Tigard Police Department where I am on the Chief of Police committee and the other flowers were from IT Assurance who handles the computers at the clinic I work for in Portland.  I was very thankful and it was pretty seeing flowers near the window view.  When I was awake, I would look at the pretty flowers and then look out the window wishing I was at the coast or outside looking at Mt. Hood.  I wanted to be outside, enjoying gorgeous Oregon.

In about 37 hours, I head to the hospital for surgery.  Count down begins.  I am nervous about the whole thing and can’t believe I will be having missing body parts.  Hope a lot of weight will be shed off.  Ray has been a big help.  There are a ton of last little minute things to do.  I am having peace over my decision.  Hope I can sleep tonight.